When your son is just about to get married, you often don’t know whether to cry or to laugh, whether he has made a good decision or not. Furthermore, you are concerned about the mother of the groom speech, because you don’t know what to say, how to speak and how long to make it – because there are just too many things crossing your mind now.
So, in such situations, you will need some tips and ideas to help you write the speech earlier. Of course, in any case, you will need some free time. In case you want it to be done fast, the quality might be a bit lower, but that’s sometimes possible as well.
Filter out emotional nonsense
Firstly, before you want to jump in and write ideas for your speech, you need to filter your emotions. Some of the things you feel are normal, but others are just imaginations, or unrealistic thoughts about your son’s marriage. Also, in case you have a thought such as “he can’t know if she is really the one or not – what if they divorce in 15 years”, then let me tell you: we can’t know that. You didn’t know that either when you got married, you only assumed it wouldn’t happen. CLICK HERE For Groom’s Mother Speech Examples
If you’re not that emotional as a mother, keep on reading, because the above mentioned was about cases when emotions are overwhelming and abundant. So, once you clean your emotions and you get a clearer picture of them, you can move forward.
Make sure you find out what your son’s favorite memories are
As a mother, you might want to tell certain stories about your son, but if you’d ask him then it’s probable to get an answer such as: “Come on mom, really? Give me a break”. In other words, there are simple happenings that you might classify as cute, nice memories, or similarly, but for your son these same memories might feel embarrassing or he simply doesn’t want to share them. More Speech Samples HERE
In any case, it’s better off if you can eliminate such things. How to do that? Be straightforward and ask your son – he will definitely tell you about his ideas and preferences, if any. Being his mother, you should already know what irritates him and even if you don’t agree – it’s his wedding after all.
Then, your son (as any other person) has certain happenings in his life that he’d dearly mention to many friends. Those are the kind of things you need to include in the mother of the groom speech, because your son will be happy that you are talking about those subjects, and you won’t embarrass him.
Take time to have a professional mother of the groom speech
Writing a mother of the groom speech is not something started right now and ended in just 15 minutes. It just doesn’t happen that way. It did happen for some people? Yes, in rare situations, some mothers and fathers, or even bridesmaids and best men were so full of inspiration and lacking time that they really created a speech in just 10-15 minutes. The result? I don’t need to tell you that many could’ve easily failed, being too short or having ideas that just didn’t link together. And yes, there are also other cases when it was just pure success.
Now, let’s talk about the process and why you will revise the speech several times.
Step #1 – first ideas
Before you’d have a fluent speech and grammar to correct, there are first ideas you get when thinking about the mother of the groom speech. These are the initial glimpses of inspiration that you shouldn’t miss (or else you’d be like “what was I thinking about an hour ago, because it was so cool, but I forgot”). So, what is best to do is write these first ideas somewhere. Whether it’s a simple Notepad file, or a hidden entry on your personal blog, you need to put it somewhere and make sure it’s not just forgotten or erased.
For some people, first ideas are like 20 words, keywords that are written down in a random order. Yes, for your husband those keywords might make no sense, but it’s enough if you get the point when reading them. In other cases, your first ideas might be half-sentences or full sentences, but again without any flow or form that appears to be a wedding speech.
Anything is good, anything works – from this step it’s still work to do!
Step #2 –what friends say
It’s nice to ask friends, because maybe some of them already went through the pressure and the preparations leading to a mother of the groom speech. Even if that occurred 5 years or 10 years ago, and even if that marriage didn’t last, focus on the ideas referring to the speech. You might not simply agree, but please don’t mention disagreements as you may offend your friend who’s trying to be helpful. It’s wiser to listen to all suggestions, and then at home, in silence, you will get the chance to accept or ignore what has been told.
Then, you can make a list of friends’ ideas and see where that gets. In some cases, especially if your friends were there to help you and wanted to make your part easier, you might get half the speech done already. In other cases, while it won’t be too much for the final text, you will have precious ideas that later lead to new ideas in your mind.
Write these ideas along the older ideas, and see if there are ideas appearing more than once. If so, remove unnecessary points.
Step #3 – read about wedding speech trends
From time to time, wedding speech trends change. No, indeed the essence will never change, but there are certain things that you need to look after. For example, you will likely get different wedding customs in Alabama and in Oregon – two states can often have different ideas, traditions and requirements for wedding speeches. All in all, you need to know that not every idea is universal, but if you find some local magazines or simply magazines that never focused on presenting customs of a particular state, then it’s helpful.
Also, the internet brings multiple blogs and various articles on these subjects. Try and find out what others say and then you can freely accept or disagree with certain opinions. After all, there’s nobody forcing you to write as person A says instead of how person B says.
Step #4 – become organized
After all the research has been done and you’ve collected plenty of ideas, you need to organize them. Try and write full sentences and then try to turn it into a form that resembles more of a wedding speech. The first steps of organizing might not seem too simple, but later you will find it much easier to do that.
Step #5 – the bride matters too
While we’re strictly referring to preparing a mother of the groom speech, the bride is equally important. Even in your speech, you need to know enough details about her and make sure you mention the bride in your words.
Since all things need to be started in advance, it’s great if you can join the bride and help her, go out with her and have simple conversations. Find out why she was so attracted to your son, and why she had chosen him as The One for her life. Ask her about her favorite dresses, colors and more. You know, women can always discuss differently and get more intimate with their discussions, sharing more of their inner feelings and emotions, even their fears. Don’t play with her emotions and fears, saying things like “oh dear, I know it’s very hard, I’ve done it too”. Even if you know something is very hard, encourage her and tell her that she’s got what it takes to make it through. There are many ways to encourage a young bride!
Then, it’s very important that you mention how special she is for you as a mother. Accepting the bride as your new daughter is a main idea in any mother of the groom speech, and you shouldn’t omit that idea. By this you show respect and appreciation, and you also make her feel safe in your family. If you don’t say any words, and never show the bride respect, she can always think that you’re angry or that you disagree and didn’t want them to get married.
You also need to thank the bride’s parents, because every wedding is the result of the groom’s and bride’s parents’ efforts. Thus, it’s fair to mention them and to publicly thank them for all they’ve did, both financially and physically, dedicating their free time as they could.
Step #6 – learn the speech
Then, you will need to learn the speech. Before learning it, you will need to revise it again and again, until you made sure that it’s what you wanted and is acceptable for the wedding. That is very important, and you should never forget that side of the things.
Also, learning the speech is so important – people don’t respect speakers who read from tablets or pieces of papers, and they don’t even connect with the guests. Be connected with them instead, and the only way for you to achieve that is by learning the speech word by word.
You also need to measure time, because you should make sure that your speech is within the 3 to 4 minutes limit. 5 minutes would work as well, but it’s not always a good idea.
Step #7 – be relaxed and use proper voice
The last step to success, and also a key idea is being relaxed all the time and using the proper voice for this speech. When communicating such an emotional message, you don’t need stress and you can’t have a boring voice. Your voice needs to clearly communicate the speech ideas, and that can only be done if you’re in control and show no anxiety.